Stupid Comments in Delayed Insults

I think this may be one of those "You had to be there" moments, but I found it hysterical, so I thought I'd share it.

I went to the UNC vs. Air Force Academy basketball game tonight.  (Who I rooted for is another post altogether.)  The crowd was full of very energetic college students, eager to root on their team and boo the opposing one.

It's funny how some people really struggle to come up with insults, but still insist on giving them--the result often being ridiculously poor timing.

And Air Force player was shooting a free throw.  The crowd was booing and shouting out insults to his dog, his mother, etc., trying to get him to miss the shot.  That's normal.  But about 4 seconds after the shot, when it had already been rebounded and was heading down to the opposite basket, the brain of someone behind me FINALLY arrived at the insult they'd probably been working on for a good 15 seconds and shouted, "Your...ears are...irproportional to your face!"

I thought the insult itself was kind of funny (and original, at least to shout it out from the stands), and the timing was ridiculous, so I was already genuinely laughing.  About .5 seconds later, I started laughing much harder as I realized what he'd said.

Irproportional?  Really?!

Poor guy.  That's embarrassing enough to say that, but in the middle of hundreds of people?  (At least it was so loud not everyone heard...and it was a group of probably lesser intelligence than maybe the concert hall I was at last night...no offense...)

But then, I can kind of relate.  Whenever my EFY counselors would get down on themselves for messing something up, I'd say, "You know what?  Don't worry about it!  When you mess up, 8 people (their group of youth) know about it.  When I mess up, 800 people know about it!"

But...IRPROPORTIONAL?!  Really??

Extreme Facebook Messaging

My roommates and I are rarely all home at the same time.  There are 3 of us, 2 very busy music majors and one theatre education major.  Even in the rare happenstance that we ARE all in the house at the same time, usually one or 2 of us is asleep or something.

But tonight--a Tuesday night at 11 pm, out of all times--all 3 of us are home.  I'm sitting in my room at my power desk, and right outside my slightly open door Ashley and Amanda are sitting in the living room.  Us being 3 tech-savvy girls, we are all on our laptops...pretending to do homework.

I get onto Facebook (1st mistake) just to check something, and Ashley messages me from the living room and says, "Not only are we all home, we're all on Facebook!"  I realize what an oddity that is, and message her back with my classic response to her every time she messages me:  the robot face she taught me:   :|]

It makes her laugh out loud. I  can hear it through my open door.  Then she tries to send me back a face with the tongue sticking out but starts giggling because she messed up.  But instead of TELLING me that (she's seriously like 12 feet from me, through an open door) she writes it to me....that makes me start giggling.  Then I hear another outburst of laughter as she tries to teach Amanda how to make the robot face--but all over Facebook messaging, no verbal communication.  And Ash starts laughing again because Amanda can't find the right keys...but she WRITES to me to tell me (again).

A few minutes pass, and I hear an outburst of laughter from Ashley that doesn't stop.  Apparently they're trying to figure out how to make more smiley faces.

They both just erupted in laughter.  I guess they experimented and made the exact same smiley face at the same time.

No words.  Not one.

Sometimes this world is just plain weird to me.

But a whole lot of fun!

Thankful Bag 2008

 Our family has one outstanding Thanksgiving tradition: The Thankful Bag. When we were younger, some Monday night early in November, our activity at Family Home Evening would be to each trace our hand on a piece of blank white paper and color it however we wanted (the goal to be that it resembled a turkey). We then cut it out and glued it to a brown paper grocery back. It was deemed “The Thankful Bag”. Throughout the month, we wrote down things we were thankful for on little pieces of paper and dropped them in the bag. The last excruciated minutes of hungry anticipation before the Thanksgiving feast were spent passing the bad around the table and taking turns hurriedly reading each slip, one by one.

This year, the (real) turkey was taking too long, so the 4 of us (me, Mom, Dad, and my younger brother, Chris) gathered in the living room and commenced the age-old tradition.

Some entries come back every year. Some are humorous, others of a more serious nature. Sandy, my younger sister newly on her mission in North Carolina, had even e-mailed some things that Mom printed out, cut up, and put in the bag this year.

It was interesting to realize who some entries really came from. At some, it seemed painfully obvious who had written them (“my loving husband”…. “Linville…”) at other times, someone would jokingly remark, “I wonder who wrote that?” only to be presently surprised that it was my 17-year-brother, for example, and not my gung-ho early-morning seminary-teaching father who wrote that he was grateful for “seminary to start the day off right”.

I think that’s when I started choking up. And hiding it really well. No one had any idea I was being deeply, spiritually impacted by this. But I started paying more attention and reflecting more on the things being read out loud. I was touched by the things my family was grateful for. I was touched to read the things written by my missionary sister, knowing the way the spirit was so much a part of her life and understanding well the blessed life our Father was letting her experience right now—and grateful she had that opportunity. It was fun to the see the repeats: I think every one of us wrote something about the mountains! J But mostly, I felt a deep peace and joy as I saw how many of the entries centered around the Gospel. We must be on the right track--wherever we may be on the track, at least it’s the right one. I am so grateful to have been placed in this family.

So here it is: the Depew Family Thankful Bag, 2008. It’s probably funnier with the running commentary between Chris and I, and if you don’t know our family well, some it may seem a bit odd. (We are the Depews, after all.) But if you know us well, you can probably even guess who said what. Except for the little surprises. Enjoy.

The chance to serve a mission (and a supportive family!  THANK YOU.)

Books, need I elaborate?

Answers to prayers

House people!

Seminary to start the day off right

Prayer

Beautiful Mountains

Cars

Scholarships and grants

Sister Jones, Sister Kuttler and Sister Condie

Mountians

A sound mind

Faithful friends

Missionaries

Righteous sons and daughters

Servicemen and women who give up time and risk their lives to protect our freedoms

Adopted children

My piano

Felton

Teachers who give a crap hoot

WONDERFUL ward members (especially Jordan Starnes! J )

Cars that don’t break down or take a lot of gas

Being able to see and hear

The priesthood

M*A*S*H

Doctors, firemen, policemen, paramedics

Living close to the mountains

Oceans

Electricity and indoor plumbing

Shelter – and a home

Food to eat and a refrigerator and freezer to keep them in

A modern prophet

Computers – desktops and lappy’s

Forgiveness and repentance

Prayer

Linville

Airplanes

Letters from home

Being healthy so I can go to work every day

Righteous children who work hard to do their best

A warm house

The scriptures

God’s trust in us

PRAYER

The Plan of Happiness

Missions

Washing machines and dryers

Hand and eyes that work

Friends. Period

The Truth

Modern medicine

Bishop Roundy

AP classes – AHHHHH!!

General Conference

The fall colors of North Carolina

Humor to get through the tough times

Being a member of the true church

Grandchildren

Pretty girls

Family

KNO₃

Blessings

Food

The mountains (boom-dee-adda boom-de-ay)

A patient, loving, supportive husband

Extended family

Having a testimony of the Gospel

Music—and the ears to hear it with

Disney studios

Heated houses

Friends to play airsoft with

Sleep! And naps

Family

Jin Kim

Rain

Jesus Christ and the Atonement

The Spirit, its guidance, help and power.

President and Sister Hobbs

Dawn dish soap

Hard times to show how good we’ve got it

Dinero (that’s Spanish. You gotta pronounce it right)

Temple

Living prophets

Cars that work

Small miracles/tender mercies

H₂0

The ability to read, and think, and learn.

The PLAN

Knowledge and testimony of the truth

Christ

Food

Music

Friends

Missionaries

Combat boots

Ice cream

Good religious kids who share my morals

PIZZA – root beer

Computers

The Priesthood

Silver Mine subs

Stripling warriors

The love and respect of children

Snow

Sunrises and sunsets; clouds and rain

Email, especially from missionaries

Sons and daughters

A loving wife (cute, too)

Heavenly Father and the Plan of Salvation

Nieces and nephews

Disney studios (side note:  2^nd time he put this in!) J

Books

Having a job

Healthy body

The scriptures

Temples

Good movies

A mostly healthy body

THE ATONEMENT. And that it makes it possible for us to be happy, it makes up for our weaknesses, and makes it possible for us to have a “more excellent hope”

Why in the world am I doing this?!

This is it.  Lori is entering yet another level of the technological world.  Hold on, folks.  It's gonna be a wild ride.

My dad says that blogs are mostly for people to stroke their own egos.

I think they're for people to keep in touch with close friends and family, let them know what's going on in their lives when they are horrible at keeping in touch with people or are so busy they frequently forget to...

Or maybe for people who have too much going on inside of their minds and have to get it out somehow but know that no one will really care that much about their random ponderings...

Let's say I'm all three cases.  Probably more of the latter...

Often, as I walk across campus, I have thoughts that seem "profound" or "significant" to me and I hope I can remember them long enough to get home and write them in my journal.  Or maybe I should carry a little notebook around and write them down in there, along with any inspiration I get (which GA does this?), but then I feel the insane weight of my backpack on my back and remember that NOTHING else will fit in there.

So here's my virtual "A look into Lori's mind" notebook.  Enter at your own risk.